When looking back I can honestly say that there have been times when I've felt terrific but then there have been equally low times too. But I have to say that it's been great getting to know me again. It's been a long time since I've spent time with me ... And I mean the REAL me.
Having the freedom to listen to the music that I want, come home at any time without having to worry about feeding anyone, staying up late without worrying about the bedside lamp being on and eating whatever I feel like at any point of the day.
So I guess it goes without saying that when you lose track of time you are having a good time and whilst this is case in point, I have also had the pleasant and sometimes unpleasant distraction of work to help time pass quickly. Such is life! We all need to survive in this race for rodents ... Or is it? You see, experiencing freedom after conforming for so long makes you question what else you can break free from. The shackles of society start to feel virtual. Can one simply log off to feel free? Where would one find the log off button? Wish it was as simple as this but alas it's not. If you were given the opportunity to take the red or the blue pill which one would it be? Ignorance is bliss or the hard, cold responsibility of knowing?
Somehow, I think that despite how free I wish to be, my curiosity always wins ... Ignorance is something I fear ironically enough. And hence my soul searching exercise /mid life crisis ..... It's alright if you just never know but it's not alright if you know that you just never knew ..... That
mystery, that gravity toward needing to just know, is way too strong for me not to find out. So that's me in a nutshell, I would rather burn my fingers finding out that the plate was hot than never touching it and just never knowing. There are more like me, this I know .....
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